I know, I know, the show is vapid, a waste of brain cells and is single handedly destroying the values that my mother instilled in me from her bra burning days, one collagen injection at a time. It is because these women-bots are caricatures of actual people that I am able to rationalize my viewership. I firmly believe that Taylor’s meltdowns and Kim’s pathetic attempts to let everyone know she is NOT strung out are worth every depleted brain cell I have sacrificed to the show.
From the sky-high pumps worn to garden parties, to the twenty-five thousand dollar sunglasses (barf), right down to the double kiss “how are you Daalings”, these women have completely isolated themselves from the real world and thank God for that. (Especially since I live a hop, skip and a jump away from those Restylane junkies) That said, they are truly fascinating and this season was a total explosion of grotesque behavior. It was EPIC!
I’ll be honest, I mainly tuned in to the show to see the unraveling of Taylor’s life. Yes, it’s gross since the ending was tragic, but come on. However, E! tread lightly on the topic of Russell’s death. I also tuned in to see Camille’s bad attitude. Unfortunately, I was a tad disappointed, if only for a fleeting second, that Camille was behaving herself. I expected less of her. I got over it quick since NO ONE followed suit. The women behaved like crazed, wild animals (Ms. Vanderpump excluded).
It all began (for me at least) with Game Night. This was the first time in the history of my mindless show experience (and it’s pretty expansive) that I actually wanted to drive to a cast members house and show them what real people do when they are treated like second class citizens. That episode made me so mad I actually watched it again. However, the following episodes focused less on their distaste for Brandy’s foul mouth and more on Taylors crying (I think she was crying. I saw tears, but no facial movements, so I can only assume.) As the season moved on I was also moved to tears many times, except my tears were joyful. Is that wrong?
Here is my season recap: Kyle started seeing Kim less because of Kim’s creepy, mongrel boyfriend. Kim also stayed away because that’s what people do when they are addicted to hillbilly heroine. Taylor and her robot husband Russell were on again/off again and in the interim of their marriage volley, they threw their ungrateful daughter a hillbilly party (Kim fit right in). As a parting gift, Russell gave Taylor a black eye and threatened to sue everyone who spoke about it. Lisa’s daughter Pandora (please no Pandora’s Box jokes) got married to her finance in the season finale, which cost her parents (or E!) a million bucks. Adrianne, well Adrianne she got richer.
If you were expecting some grand reveal of Russell’s suicide then you were obviously disappointed. This show is classy…remember? Instead, the network focused on Pandora in the finale (box not included). E! ethically chose not to exploit Russell’s death, instead they highlighted his life by airing his marital counseling sessions, allowing his angry notes to be read aloud and covering up Taylors black eye just enough so it was still visible for the camera. Good lookin’ out. That being, I can’t wait for next season, although I don’t think it will ever live up to this one.
Keep it up BH 90210, because my Monday nights will never be the same if you don’t.